I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
