the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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