Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she woke up with a sticky ear
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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