She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Help. Why am I so naked?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
