He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
