covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
