the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
