then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
