I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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