**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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