We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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