there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
