He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
