For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
