Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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