I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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