Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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