Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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