i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
