So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
