I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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