Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
