You can't special order awesome
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
