then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
