Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
