Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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