Buhtt sex?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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