you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
