Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
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