Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
