I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
