I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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