Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
