stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
