do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
