a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
