We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
