Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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