I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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