I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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