I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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