And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Randomize
