apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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