Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
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