He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
