According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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