I'm gonna have a badass scar
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
