I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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