Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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