waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
